Touring retirement residences? Score them together.
Every tour looks lovely on the day. Write down what matters to Mom first, then score each residence on the same six things, so the family compares the same answers and Mom makes the call.
What matters to Mom
Ask first, before any tour. Tap the must-haves. They’re flagged on every scorecard so nobody forgets them.
The residences you’re visiting
Up to three. Add the date of each tour if you like.
Score each tour
1 is poor, 5 is great. Score right after the visit, while it’s fresh.
Score a tour to see the totals
Totals are out of 30. The best fit is the one that meets Mom’s must-haves, not just the highest number.
Start early, and get a real feel for the place
Popular residences often have a waitlist, so looking ahead keeps Mom’s options open. A tour shows you the building. These show you the life.
Ask about the waitlist
Ask each residence if there’s a waitlist, how long it usually is and what it takes to join. Then ask what happens if Mom isn’t ready when a spot opens up.
Go to an event
Ask about upcoming lunches, concerts or open houses. Going as a guest shows you who lives there and how it feels on an ordinary day, not just on tour day.
Try a short stay
Some residences offer a short stay, sometimes called a trial or respite stay. A few nights is the best way to get the vibe: the food, the evenings and the people.
Plan a short stayQuestions worth asking every residence
Ask the same questions everywhere, and ask for the answers in writing.
Money
What’s in the monthly fee, and what costs extra? How much did fees go up in the last two years? What happens to the fee if more help is needed later?
Daily life
Can I see this week’s menu and activity calendar? Can I bring my own furniture, or a pet? When can family visit or stay for a meal?
Peace of mind
Who is on site overnight? What help is offered, and who decides when it changes? Can I try a short stay first?
In Ontario, retirement homes are licensed by the Retirement Homes Regulatory Authority (RHRA). Look up any home on the RHRA public register to see its licence and inspection reports. Also see Ontario: Find a retirement home.
Pick together. Move together.
In Mom’s private Circle, the tours go on one calendar, the scores stay in one place and the moving jobs get a yes from someone. Mom has the final say.
- Tours on one calendarWho’s driving and who’s coming along to each visit.
- Moving day jobsSorting, packing and the first week, each with a name.
- Mom decidesPrivate by default. Nobody is invited until Mom says so.
Before and after the move
Trying a residence for a while
A short stay first, so the decision is easier and nobody feels rushed.
See the plan Life eventPlanning to downsize
Sorting, selling and moving day, shared out with the people who offered to help.
See the plan Free toolWho does what
Split the jobs fairly between siblings, friends and neighbours.
Share the jobsQuestions families ask
Is anything I type sent anywhere?
No. The scorecard stays in this browser. “Send the scores to family” opens your own messages or copies the text, so it comes from you.
Should Mom come on every tour?
If Mom wants to, yes. If not, a family member can do a first visit and bring back photos, the menu and the fee sheet, then Mom tours the top one or two.
What if we score them differently?
That’s useful. Each person can fill in their own scorecard and send it. Where you differ is usually where a second visit or a question in writing helps.
When should we start looking?
Earlier than you think. Popular residences often have a waitlist, so many families start visiting and going to events well before a move is needed. Looking early isn’t a commitment, and it means Mom chooses, rather than taking whatever is open.
Is a retirement home the same as a nursing home?
No. In Ontario, retirement homes are private residences that people pay for themselves, with help on site. Nursing homes, called long-term care homes, are for people who need more support around the clock and are arranged through Ontario Health atHome.